8 High-Energy Strains to Balance That Huge Thanksgiving Feast
Thanksgiving is a couple days away, meaning you’re already dreading the full-contact, chaotic trip to the grocery store that will end with you punching an elderly woman in the face to snag the last can of condensed milk. And you’re probably not looking forward to the huge, exhausting family gathering that includes Weird Uncle Leonard and his “Pull My Finger” game that he thinks still delights you even though you’re no longer seven years old.
But one thing you probably are looking forward to is the food. My goodness, the food. Turkey. Stuffing. Cranberries. Yams. Mashed potatoes. Gravy on EVERYTHING. And a huge slice of pumpkin pie (perhaps medicated, perhaps not) with whipped cream to top it all off. By this point your pants’ waistband has hit critical mass and your heart is struggling to pump a 50/50 mix of blood and pan drippings through your hardening arteries. You tell yourself it’s the turkey’s tryptophan that’s making you nod off at 3:30 in the afternoon, but you need to stop kidding yourself and come to terms with the fact that it’s really the 4,000 calories’ worth of food you just shoved down your drooling maw that’s hit you like a tranq dart to the arse.
Fret not, holiday gorger, because as with most things in life, there’s a strain for that! Here are eight high-energy, uplifting cannabis strains that should reintroduce a little pep in your post-Thanksgiving feast step. Just stay away from the infused edibles — you’ve had enough to eat for one day (or weekend, really).
The strain of choice for Seth Rogen and Jay Baruchel in This is the End, Sour Diesel hits you fast and will bring energetic, uplifting effects. Plus, it’s known to induce some happiness, so you won’t feel too bummed out after Weird Uncle Leonard prompts you to pull his finger for the eighth time.
A three-time champion at the Cannabis Cup, Super Silver Haze will bring enough energy to that gravy-filled body of yours to want to act out a one-person rendition of the Thanksgiving classic Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. (You might want to gloss over Steve Martin’s rental car tirade in front of Grandma Ethel.)
Put down that third slice of lemon meringue pie and reach for this citrusy strain instead. Leafly visitors have tagged Lemon Haze‘s flavors as lemon, sweet, and citrus, making it a nice after-dinner treat instead of yet another high-calorie option.
A hybrid strain, Golden Goat has flavors of coffee, honey, and lemon, making it the perfect digestif to focus on as your Aunt Millie attempts to set you up with someone she vaguely knows from her church because she’s worried you’ll never find someone decent on your own (and she doesn’t trust those Internet dating sites).
Another hybrid, J1 is great for counteracting stress and depression, so when you come to the realization that you’ve just wholeheartedly belly-flopped into “winter weight” territory after one gorgetastic meal, J1 will be there to pull you out of your funk and get you to speed-walk laps around the dining room table.
Green Candy is a good option for battling anxiety, so when your mom announces she expects you to accompany her to snag some Black Friday shopping deals, you can curb your sense of dread while preparing your battle armor.
A mainstay in the Showtime series Weeds, White Widow is a hybrid cannabis strain that packs a powerful punch. It’s known as a social strain, so be prepared to bust out the Charades after you’re done gossiping with Cousin Sally about who should win the Game of Thrones.
Sit back with some Amnesia Haze to wipe away the memory of that ridiculous feast you just inhaled. (Okay, Amnesia Haze won’t actually make you forget anything, but it’ll put a smile on your face and is a great way to cap off a day full of overbearing relatives, weird jello salads, and a seriously obscene amount of food.)